Fake Flowers

"it's all about image, these days." -Yacht Loggins

though i say to myself i care not about image, but is that so true? i LOVE flowers. i often fixate on flowers in the supermarket and wish i could buy them, not to long for lust but to create a surrogate object for affection. my last life in chicago, i would carry them from work on the bus, not destined for anyone but just as personal spectacle, to hold pretty for the sake of pretty. they'd dry out and become crumbs and dirt that i would justify not cleaning up because it was once something i cared about.

fake plastic flowers, however, i've never been into. i've actually hated. i touch them if i see them, and scoff, in my head. sometimes disease skips a generation.

and then, there's my room, my apartment, which i try to cover in fabric plagued with cheesy flower prints. i, in fact, got an awesome old chair at highland park garbage day that i now have in my room, which predictably is bludgeoned with faded flower print. my room, no matter where it is, has become a haven for the supernatural experience of recreating flower and color in the most baudrillardian hyperreal sense, both fake and beautiful, dead and reaffirming. and i love it.

i think it's just a self-reflective reflex for me to cover my life in pretty colors.

monday by weekend

i worked a full day today at my old job, handlebar, as i will fill in occasionally to help both parties out. i need to do laundry and fix my bike. on my bike, i popped a spoke while riding it, and now the back wheel wobbles. i do not want to ride it too much while it's not fixed because it could deteriorate the wheel and other spokes in total by doing so. i do need to start riding my bike more at night, as for convenience and safety. this was brought more to my attention because last night a co-worker was walking home after work and got jumped, and eventually stabbed 7 times and put in the hospital. he's ok though, which is very good. jeff made a new drawing, of which i cannot tell exactly the make up. i will ask him next time i talk to him. i'm excited to see him soon for a wedding in tucson:

[redacted]

1) went to the first full day of the "job" today, and fully decided to not continue it further. i'd never realized how slow time can go by when analyzing computer advertisements for corporate chains OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER. it made running that marathon in 3.5 hours last year seem SIMPLE in comparison, much quicker and easier than this one shitty six hour shift. on the good side, i've already got a little job lined up with my friend russ who owns and runs a company that makes the finest faux meat on the market (www.uptonsnaturals.com), helping out and doing demos at whole foods (n'shit). he has a blog up too, here on blogspot, check it out: uptonsnaturals.blogspot.com for some nice vegan recipes. i'm doing that tomorrow, and also going garbage shopping in the suburbs for some free shit, again. i'll let you know how it goes.

2) kind of a strange thing, an old friend died recently in a car accident. i hadn't talked to him in a while. anyways, i just wanted to put something up, as an explanation of the title. it's mocking internet communication while still being an integral part; it's so people can keep up with me if that want, and it's not meant to disrespect anyone or distance myself from anyone. i love all my friends and family dearly, which i think most know about me quite well. the title 'kill your friends' is such an absurd statement in this sense that it's only me expressing my sense of humor, which i do a bit too much at times. regardless, appreciate your friends, and try to keep up with them more, which i'm trying to do as well. jeff was good friends with the friend who died as well. i need to call jeff.