the rigid forms that our lives take on (or do typically) only appear in mine as the text box i now type into, the clear and completely evaporative constructs of hyperlink, toolbar, advertisement. most rigid forms entail normative social relationships, regular work schedules, family expectations. of which my vacation separates. (i'm lying, of course, but my skin makes me think i'm immune to these human deficiencies.)
i haven't typed in some time, long live the shade of summer's opposite. i have gone to states of the country and states of my own relational and relationship-based reflections. this can be illustrated by the facts: (me typing this from 3 am to 3:15 am on christmas eve over 3 large beers in the short quarter-hour interim) (me singing stone temple pilots' 'lady picture show' instead of matchbox 20's '3 am' at karaoke last night) (and) (the realization that i've referred to home in the last 3 weeks as chicago, seattle, arizona.)
period.
this is a blog that represents my heart, this is a blog that could easily just be an honest conversation between interested parties, friends, individuals.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Monday, November 30, 2009
queerativity
diary of thinking that changes with setting, support:
the presence of something. positive reinforcement; negative criticism. but at least the presence means SOMETHING, directionality, not stagnant. think of the metaphor of a roller coaster, ups and downs bring excitement. would you get on a roller coaster that didn't go up or down, left or right, and just brought you from one destination to another? probably not. though with cars and jobs we succeed despite. but we wouldn't pay for it, and we wouldn't ride the 5 minute ride, as short sight would prove our instincts. that said:
i've been at a disposition to write since the middle of college. i've enjoyed it. but as of late, it hasn't come as easily, or at all, for stretches of time. not to judge, but it feels absent, my creativity. and now i'm writing about writing--------------
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the presence of something. positive reinforcement; negative criticism. but at least the presence means SOMETHING, directionality, not stagnant. think of the metaphor of a roller coaster, ups and downs bring excitement. would you get on a roller coaster that didn't go up or down, left or right, and just brought you from one destination to another? probably not. though with cars and jobs we succeed despite. but we wouldn't pay for it, and we wouldn't ride the 5 minute ride, as short sight would prove our instincts. that said:
i've been at a disposition to write since the middle of college. i've enjoyed it. but as of late, it hasn't come as easily, or at all, for stretches of time. not to judge, but it feels absent, my creativity. and now i'm writing about writing--------------
------------- --------- --- --- ------------------- --------- - - --------------------
-------- -------------- ---- -- ------------ ----------------- - - ----------------
----------------- - --- -------------- -------------- -- - ------ - ---------
---------------------------------- -- - -------------------------- - - -.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
a truly giving god
it is wednesday afternoon and i am in athens georgia.
the plant life is beautiful despite the untimely season of my visit. it is very nice weather, and though everyone is cold at night it can't compare much to chicago at the moment. margaret was sweeping the bike shop, we were talking. she dumped the amassed dirt and dust and debris into the wastebasket; as we spoke, we stopped, and she became paralyzed with anxiety. i was oblivious to it. i am often oblivious to my own emotions, drinking is often a false idol of brain activity, drinking is often a cause to obliviousness. the sun shone on my body and i zipped down my jacket. a man asked me for money and i declined. i fell asleep last night with my phone on by accident, blankets folded on top of me as cover.
it is dusk on wednesday, and i am in the state of georgia.
the plant life is beautiful despite the untimely season of my visit. it is very nice weather, and though everyone is cold at night it can't compare much to chicago at the moment. margaret was sweeping the bike shop, we were talking. she dumped the amassed dirt and dust and debris into the wastebasket; as we spoke, we stopped, and she became paralyzed with anxiety. i was oblivious to it. i am often oblivious to my own emotions, drinking is often a false idol of brain activity, drinking is often a cause to obliviousness. the sun shone on my body and i zipped down my jacket. a man asked me for money and i declined. i fell asleep last night with my phone on by accident, blankets folded on top of me as cover.
it is dusk on wednesday, and i am in the state of georgia.
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